Emotionally Exhausting

Today has been draining.

My boyfriend and I have been having a lot of little snaps lately, most of them about stupid little things that don’t even matter in the scheme of things. It didn’t come as a surprise then, when it started happening today, despite my mental notes to be less of a bitch. The argument began, then it got worse.

 

I started voicing some of the ‘darker’ thoughts I’d been having about our relationship, mainly questioning if it was working. I brought up that I felt unappreciated, that he didn’t want to be a part of my life since he never stayed at mine and barely knows my family, that sometimes the way he says things and reacts makes me feel like he thinks I’m stupid. In return he told me that it makes him feel like shit when I tell useless white lies. TBH I hadn’t even realised that I’d been doing that.

Most of it was me airing stuff that had been bothering me for a little while, things that again were little and had just built up over time because I had bottled it up inside, and he had too. I cried for a bit, but he listened to me, told me that it was important for me to be able to speak up about how I was feeling, and that despite that some of what I was saying was hurtful, that he needed to hear what I had to say. And I love him for that.

I ended up laughing with tears streaming down my face, and somehow ended a conversation about what wasn’t working in our relationship confessing that I wanted to move out with him. And despite my sniffling and red sunburnt face, this deeply caring man who’d just listened to me complain for over an hour stood up, grabbed my face and told me that he wanted that too.

 

I just wish that I was able to do more to help him through his own struggles. How do you help someone feel that they are loved and have friends who really do care about them?

 

Anyway that’s all I can manage right now,

Xx
R

Advertisements

One thought on “Emotionally Exhausting

  1. Liz says:

    That’s a tough question because it’s different for different people. I usually think that when I say people care about me they usually care about my feelings, listen to me, and they help me feel better. I think that in relationships showing that you care is different for different people and couples. I’m glad that you felt that he did take the time to listen to you which shows hay he does cares ❤

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s