Hey lovelies! I hope you all had an amazing (or at least not shit) night 🙂
Unfortunately my New Year’s Eve was absolutely atrocious and almost ended with my relationship ending, and that’s not even me being dramatic. Let me explain.
My day started at 5 (fucking) 30 in the morning, when I woke up ‘naturally’, despite going to sleep at midnight. The last couple of days I’d been a bit off colour, so when I woke up feeling like shit I knew it wouldn’t be a fun day. I eventually mozied downstairs and had a handful of tomatoes and green tea before heading to work. My 9-5:15pm shift was the slowest, most painful shift I’ve had in the last month and a half and , all of this didn’t do anything to improve my mood leading up to a long night out.
Despite this I ended up at a small house party of 10 or so people with my boyfriend after work. By this point I was feeling terrible because I’d had a full day of food (read way too many carbs and cals) and just wanted to sleep. I tried to pull myself together and have a good time, I really did. I drank my wine, talked to everyone, played a few games and drank some more. But I was so tired. I started dozing off anytime I sat down for more than a few minutes and couldn’t wait to get home and to bed (even if the taxi was going to cost a fortune!). But that’s obviously not how my night ended.
I got back up at 11:30ish and rejoined the group in anticipation for the big count down. There were sparklers, flashing lights, drinks and a lot of laughs. It was fun, but it was also the signal to my brain that it was ok to leave now, that in 10-20 minutes we could make tracks. But by this point my boyfriend was quiet drunk. He stopped noticing me, didn’t hear my meaning when I reiterated how tired I was, didn’t see me trying not to fall asleep on the couch (even though his friends were offering me a place to nap). He was too drunk to see or care. Too drunk to function.
Eventually I came back out to the group on the patio, where my boyfriend decided to show me some chick’s titty baring photo on instagram and then bring up threesomes (within earshot of our friends). Whilst we had talked previously about the possibility of one, we’d both decided that we just couldn’t ‘share’ each other with someone else. We were just both too vulnerable and insecure for it to end well. We’ve had to talk about it because we’ve received offers before. I’ll admit, they were mainly made to me by other women who were interested in me, however I’ve always turned them down (politely) because I know our relationship and I know neither of us would be comfortable with the situation. However when my boyfriend brought it up at the party he was telling me that someone else had told him they’d be down for one with us. Apparently this person was overseas and I just didn’t understand what had happened really.
Well I turned around and reassured my boyfriend that the only person I wanted to sleep with was him. This is when shit really hit the fan. He responded saying that I didn’t want sex with him because he was too small (which I have never said AT all). I was hurt, especially since I had literally talked to him just hours before about how my sex drive had risen recently. I was hurt, and went to the bathroom to cry. I blamed my watery eyes on allergies since there was a cat there.
By the time I got back out to the group they had migrated to the man-cave/shed, inside of which my lovely, charming boyfriend has ‘fallen asleep’ in a chair. I took the one next to him and he moved to lean on me. This is when I absolutely knew the night was over for me. He’d drunk so much he’d passed out. If you aren’t familiar with some of my older posts, my boyfriend has a history of issues with alcohol. Early on in our relationship we had to cal an ambulance for him. Since then he’s improved by apparently not that much. He’d pass out, on one of the few nights that we actually get to enjoy a few drinks together.
To cut a long story short, I ended up having to ask the one deso to drive out of his way to drop us at my BF’s house because he was too drunk to walk back to the place we had planned to crash at. When we got home I set him up with a towel and bucket in bed, and took a blanket and slept on the floor.
TLDR; BF got super drunk, said hurtful things, passed out and I slept on the floor.
I ended up texting a friend, cried a bit more, then fell asleep. He and I eventually made up in the morning but I had a terrible night.
In other news, I had a few New Year’s Resolutions I wanted to share with you all.
- Increase and maintain my workout per week to 3 times (from my current 2)
- Try to eat healthier (read more greens, less take away and sugar)
- To be more focused on my studies this year
- To start budgeting more seriously and save enough money to buy a new bed
- Get down to and maintain at 65kg
and 6. give up alcohol (along with my bf). This one was one we agreed on because I told my BF that I couldn’t, wouldn’t be with someone with an addiction.
Anyway, this is a super long post (apologies) but I just needed to get it all off my chest. I hope you all had a great night though 🙂
Let my know your resolutions, if you have any, in the comments!