I’m back

My posts have been so sporadic lately, mainly because I was pretty good overall. I got good results from uni, was getting more shifts at work (without my crazy co-worker since she was on holidays) and had a really good relationship with my body and food. Until I Gaines 5kgs that is. 

Now at my old and current HW I’m feeling pretty body conscious and am struggling with negative thoughts again. Nothing extreme or dangerous mind you, just those quiet, niggling thoughts that judge what I consume. I’ve been getting better at ignoring them but when the scale says 70kg some thing always panics in my head. 

I’ve put a blaring alarm on that number. To me it screams fat, obese, disgusting and no matter how much I tell myself I’m not define by a number, no matter how often my partner tells me I’m gorgeous, it still sends my mind into a spiraling panic. 

I caught myself looking up tips and tricks again, searching for daily 500 cal planners and considering what’s the least o could get away with eating today. I’m not angry or sad that I’m back to thinking this way, however I’m going to try and no make my goals more realistic and my habits more sustainable. 

Currently my goal is to get down to 65kg. I have no date or time pressure to accompany that, it’s simply the weight I wish to reach sometime next year. 

I will be incorporating more fruits andndndnd vegetables on my diet, eating mainly chicken for meat with the occasional piece if lamb with my family, and most importantly cutting out all dairy products barring the occasional small bits of cheese or aoli  (they’re guilty loves which I’ll reduce rather than remove). 
For now that’s the plan. We’ll see how it goes since I seem to always be eating out with friends. But I hope to start saving a lot more by reducing that too. 
Other than this I want you all to know that I’m doing rather well. My boyfriend and I are going really well at them moment, spending lots of quality time together and getting out of the house a bit more. I’ve kept my regular shifts at work despite us hiring younger, aka cheaper, staff, and I had a fabulous christmas where I was spoiled with lipsticks (plural) from Nars, Mac eyeshadow and highlighter, like a dozen lush products and bath bombs (I’m actually writing this from a hot, sparkly bath – shout out to shoot from the stars),  a super expensive do it at home nail set up, an xbox headset and game and more wine than I’d ever need 😂 and more importantly I’ll get to see my mum for a week in January!! I can’t wait 🙂 
Additionally I’ve been improving at silks (and am missing it over the Christmas break), and can climb, do single and double foot locks and two new tricks. It doesn’t sound like much I swear it’s hard when you have no upper body strength to begin with 😂 
Anyway, this super sunburnt Aussie babe has to go now, but I hope you all are going really well and had an amazing holiday period! 
Xx 

R

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