Feeling Positive

First off

FUCK YEAH! 

Finished my exam and absolutely smashed it! Whilst I didn’t study for long I studied smart and think I aced all but maybe the last question 🙂 FREEDOM hahahaha!

I’m also picking up a tonne of shifts at work now which is super nice, and I think, think, that I may even end up with the public holidays coming up in December and January! Which is insane because on PH’s I earn almost $54/hour!! Which for a 6 hour day adds up to almost my usual weekly pay! #moneymoneymoney

More importantly (for me anyway) is that I’m staying busy. I’m going to silks twice a week and while my progress is slow it’s there. On Sunday I was able to actually make three climbing steps up the silk when I’ve never been able to get past 1 before 😀 I’m going rock climbing with an old friend in about 3 hours, am going to the gym/park with a friend tonight, have tea with friends tomorrow arvo followed by silks then dinner and a movie with the BF to celebrate the end of uni (his suggestion). I’ve also been waking up naturally between 6 and 7 each morning which is absolute aces because I love the sunshine and actually having a whole day to do things, even if it’s just watching tv and stuffing my face.

 

I’m going to mention the negative things I’ve been experiencing lately too, but only briefly, as I’m sure my mood will break at some point and I’ll want to unload on you all then.

Firstly, I’m struggling with my BF. Recently we’ve been a bit distant with each other, likely due to all the stress we’re experiencing from uni and family stuff, but it’s really impacted on how we are interacting. There’s just less laughing, and I am finding myself with a shorter fuse than normal. For instance, I am finding his anger to be more prominent than before, with little things like his mum bothering him a lot since she’s home and restless. And any time he mentions drinking I immediately get pissy, because I know that he’s had problems with it in the past. Lastly, what’s probably been bothering me the most is his not having a job. I’ve tried my hardest not to judge or nag or hassle because I know the job market is pretty damn rough at the moment, but from where I’m sitting with him barely ever communicating with me, I feel like he’s just being lazy. I know that this isn’t necessarily fair which is why I’ve been setting those feelings aside as unjust for a while, but with him even admitting that lately he’s struggled to open up, it’s just made those feelings resurface. But we’ve got plans to talk on Wednesday, since hopefully some of our stress will be relieved since uni is now over.

 

Finally, I have gained weight. I am up from 66kg to 68 :/ feeling pretty shitty about the number on the scale but I’m trying to convince my fat hating brain that it’s not necessarily fat, rather may be a result of finally exercising, and that maybe that is muscle weight. Unfortunately though, my stomach bulging while I’m sitting down and writing this isn’t helping that positive mentality much. So already my brain has decided to up my green tea intake to possibly reduce my appetite. I’m going to scream and say eff that, and try to enjoy the food I’ll eating with my friends.

Anyway the sun is up, it’s a pretty nice day despite the left over gray cloud cover for yesterdays rain, and I have plans to stay busy, active and happy.

 

May you all feel as weirdly good as I do right now 🙂

 

Peace and Love,

R

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One thought on “Feeling Positive

  1. Liz says:

    It’s great to hear that you’re doing well 🙂 congratulations on your test and your shifts at work! That’s awesome. Also, try not to worry too much about the weight because it can come off. Focus on school, work, and sport! Love ya btw ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

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