Feeling Positive

First off

FUCK YEAH!Β 

Finished my exam and absolutely smashed it! Whilst I didn’t study for long I studied smart and think I aced all but maybe the last question πŸ™‚ FREEDOM hahahaha!

I’m also picking up a tonne of shifts at work now which is super nice, and I think, think, that I may even end up with the public holidays coming up in December and January! Which is insane because on PH’s I earn almost $54/hour!! Which for a 6 hour day adds up to almost my usual weekly pay! #moneymoneymoney

More importantly (for me anyway) is that I’m staying busy. I’m going to silks twice a week and while my progress is slow it’s there. On Sunday I was able to actually make three climbing steps up the silk when I’ve never been able to get past 1 before πŸ˜€ I’m going rock climbing with an old friend in about 3 hours, am going to the gym/park with a friend tonight, have tea with friends tomorrow arvo followed by silks then dinner and a movie with the BF to celebrate the end of uni (his suggestion). I’ve also been waking up naturally between 6 and 7 each morning which is absolute aces because I love the sunshine and actually having a whole day to do things, even if it’s just watching tv and stuffing my face.

 

I’m going to mention the negative things I’ve been experiencing lately too, but only briefly, as I’m sure my mood will break at some point and I’ll want to unload on you all then.

Firstly, I’m struggling with my BF. Recently we’ve been a bit distant with each other, likely due to all the stress we’re experiencing from uni and family stuff, but it’s really impacted on how we are interacting. There’s just less laughing, and I am finding myself with a shorter fuse than normal. For instance, I am finding his anger to be more prominent than before, with little things like his mum bothering him a lot since she’s home and restless. And any time he mentions drinking I immediately get pissy, because I know that he’s had problems with it in the past. Lastly, what’s probably been bothering me the most is his not having a job. I’ve tried my hardest not to judge or nag or hassle because I know the job market is pretty damn rough at the moment, but from where I’m sitting with him barely ever communicating with me, I feel like he’s just being lazy. I know that this isn’t necessarily fair which is why I’ve been setting those feelings aside as unjust for a while, but with him even admitting that lately he’s struggled to open up, it’s just made those feelings resurface. But we’ve got plans to talk on Wednesday, since hopefully some of our stress will be relieved since uni is now over.

 

Finally, I have gained weight. I am up from 66kg to 68 :/ feeling pretty shitty about the number on the scale but I’m trying to convince my fat hating brain that it’s not necessarily fat, rather may be a result of finally exercising, and that maybe that is muscle weight. Unfortunately though, my stomach bulging while I’m sitting down and writing this isn’t helping that positive mentality much. So already my brain has decided to up my green tea intake to possibly reduce my appetite. I’m going to scream and say eff that, and try to enjoy the food I’ll eating with my friends.

Anyway the sun is up, it’s a pretty nice day despite the left over gray cloud cover for yesterdays rain, and I have plans to stay busy, active and happy.

 

May you all feel as weirdly good as I do right now πŸ™‚

 

Peace and Love,

R

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Update

Hey everyone,

This is just going to be a quick update on how everything is going with me. Apologies for not writing more frequently but I’ve just been so busy and/or under the weather but today and yesterday have just been great and so I felt like writing again.

 

I got my second worst result ever at uni, and that ended up with me having a 2 hour long emotional breakdown with my dad because I was just so freaked out about failing because I’ve already had to add an extra semester to my degree. Similarly, my placement at a school has fallen through due to a line up of shitty situations. Thirdly work has been stressful because of everyone feeling terrible and wanting to leave, and as such I’ve rewritten my resume and started looking into a few options for myself, primarily nannying (as I love kids and it’s closer to the career I want to end up in). Additionally I’ve been feeling very friendless lately, and have even been questioning my relationship. Finally I’ve gained 1.5kgs and am feeling very chubby, but have been in such a deep pit of lethargy I’ve simply been eating what I want when I want to. It’s been yummy, but well the results speak for themselves. Basically my stomach is a greedy, selfish bitch.

 

On the good side of things though, I’ve only got 1 exam left and this year of uni is over! I’ve picked up a few shifts at work and I’ve nearly finished my Christmas shopping already πŸ™‚ WOOHOO!! I also posted a photo on instagram and it got way more likes than my usual ones (although this may have something to do with the sports bra I’m wearing in it than anything else). Either way it was a bit of a confidence boost.

I’ve also taken up a new sport/activity and am loving it. It’s Aerial Silks! I’m pretty terrible so far but I’m having so much fun I can’t wait until my strength builds up and I can actually do more. It looks so cool (although I am struggling with the sucking at it thing) and is pretty cheap, at Β sessions a week for $20.

Also, as I’m typing this I’m realising that my adventure with fake tan last night was a disaster! Haha my hands are so brown and streaking, with patches of near glistening white skin. I probably should have looked at getting it done professionally before attempting it myself but oh well. I’m sure I’m not the first girl to walk around with weirdly patchy fake tan hands and I’m sure I wont be the last πŸ™‚

 

Anyway lovelies, I have to go cram now, but I hope you’re all having a great week and I think I’ll write up another section tonight or tomorrow about what I’m getting everyone for Christmas πŸ™‚ I’m super excited for it (if you can’t already tell!)

 

Peace and Love,

R