Binge City

Sorry I haven’t been posting as regularly recently. I’ve been struggling with my long term binges, and today has been my lowest. I feel like I just can’t stop eating junk. I’ve gained and feel so bloated and disgusting. My thighs are so thick right now. 

It didn’t help that today my BF and I had an issue. We went out for lunch and it was perfect until shit hit the fan. I spilt my drink all over him and when he got back from the bathroom he was pretty angry. So I retreated into my she’ll.  I don’t deal with anger well, I’m so terrified of being dumped that it’s an instant reaction to shut down when I get too stressed about it. 

So in reaction to that he shut down too. Now there was two hurting people sitting in near silence picking over our meals. I didn’t eat much of my sandwhich which made him even more upset, and it just kept spiraling. 

We did work it out but I went into emotional binge mode the second I was alone. Skittles, a whole bag of salt and vinegar chips, iceblocks. Christ it’s disgusting. 
Im tossing up if it’s worth the stress of weighing myself tomorrow and seeing how much I’ve gained this last week. I feel like I’m back at 68-9kgs which is just such a disappointment.
Shit
R

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